HOCUS FOCUS
Are you like me, always craving more silence and focus?
I’m trying to remember that I wanted space from the United States.
That I needed space for a new version of myself to emerge. It was a selfish act of generosity.
Not easy. Living is hard to do.
There’s not much living happening in our world today, and so much of the response to the fires is reflective exhaustion and cyclical despair. But there is a light at the end of the tunnel.
You can dream again.
The scary part is that all change is loss. You have to let loss change you. Let it make room for a bigger, bolder, no-bullshit you. We are going to die someday. Life is change. That’s a tragedy, a relief, and a miracle.
One way to start seeing the light is by reclaiming your focus.
Cal Newport used a phrase I can’t recall at the moment to describe how social media creates a sort of background noise in our brains—a constant, always-on participation in online behaviors. Even when you’re not online, your cognitive resources are working as if you are. Crises work the same way.
You have to create cognitive boundaries. This isn’t avoidance. It’s presence.
So when I said ‘stop, sit, and polish your toes,’ I meant it. When I said ‘you’re all over the place because you haven’t polished your toes,’ that was me projecting my inner conversation outward. It was funny to me, personally—but it was also a pattern interrupt.
To be a voice in your inbox that gives you permission to turn your attention inward for at least the amount of time it takes to soak your feet.
My tone was sarcastic and direct, and the email triggered an exodus from my list. When I lean more into that energy—one that’s less apologetic, and more to the point, somewhat flippant and unwilling to commiserate—the sea parts.
Right now, I’m a bit 🙃 because I haven’t twisted and cut my hair.
Even if I missed the mark in tone, I was offering you a way to practice psychological boundary setting.
Are you like me, always craving more silence and focus?
You can start by making your smartphone a phone not a handheld computer.
Audit your screen time with the screen time feature on your phone and keep a screen time diary.
Notice what apps you’re spending the most time using and why.
Delete apps with infinite scroll or browsing features.
Organize your remaining apps by purpose.
Set time limits on your apps (either by category or individually) based on your current activity needs and your desired daily limits.
Replace apps with feeds with a book marked landing page on your desktop.
For apps you like, even if it’s Instagram, choose a time of day and set a time when you’ll browse. Then have a purpose for browsing related to a person—ex. finding someone to help you meal plan or date again or live more simply (like me).
This is radical, but a game-changer for me—delete all apps from your home screen. Life has never been clearer. With iPhone, your app library already organizes your apps for you.
Once you start this process, it feels like breaking up with the belief that you must always be ‘connected’ or ‘online’ or ‘in the know’ or staring at stuff. You’re creating a distraction free environment for yourself, regaining control of your focus, and clarifying your values.
This causes you to decide who and what can access you in case of an emergency and gives you clarity on where your focus is going when you pick up your phone.
Three birds one stone—focus, intention, connnection.
So now, you’ll actually be more connected.
If you’re advanced, it also slashes your wireless bill in half (more on that later).
Are you feeling a difference? Holler at me! Let me know.
Be back tomorrow to check on you.